Life Balance, How To Balance Life: Wheel Of Life

As a Life Coach, if I had to say there was one main thing, one general component that seems to come into focus as I begin to work with my clients is their lack of having or maintaining a balanced life. I am continuously being asked, “How do I balance my life and work? How do I balance my work and leisure? How do I balance my work and still have time for my relationship? How can I balance my home life and my work life?” These, and many similar questions are constantly being asked. I am also amazed how many people are searching for this type of information on the web. I think many people, at some point in their lives, come to realize that creating and/or having a balanced life is important, not only because of health issues, but mental and emotional health as well.

Not having a balanced life can and often will bring about mental, physical and emotional stress, which often leads to mental, physical or emotional illnesses. This is normal, but it does not have to be a part of your status quo. This does not have to be a part of your life. It is my intention to share with you what I have come to realize about balancing your life and how to do it with more grace and ease than you ever imagined.

Life, in and of itself, is based in balance, and Existence continues to maintain that balance as it maintains the evolution of life. Since we are a part of life, an extension of life, to maintain a healthy life for ourselves, we too have to base our existence on a similar balancing act. But so often, we engage with what the mind is saying about a specific subject; the mind says that some subject is a ‘serious’ subject, and before you know it you are completely out of balance. “This project is due. I just have to get through this phase. I can’t focus on my work/home life because my work/home life is taking up so much of my time. I am so tired after work that when I come home, all I can do is fall out.” We tell ourselves those things and before we know it, we are completely out of whack. It does not have to be that way, but we have to begin to place some focus, give some attention to the areas of our life that are being forgotten.

I personally look at and divide life into 10 equal parts or aspects.
1) Work – the area in which we make our living
2) Financial – the source in which money comes into the house and the incoming and outgoing of these resources
3) Physical – physical movement and activities that support the body to be strong and virile.
4) Leisure – time allotted for relaxation, rejuvenation, our ‘down time’
5) Mental – things that stimulate the mind and keep the mind sharp.
6) Family – this can be our family of origin or family of choice
7) Sexuality – the expression of our own personal sexual being
Play – time allotted for fun
9) Intimacy – the area in which we share ourselves (our true thoughts and feelings) with others
10)Spirituality – communing with our Higher Power (whatever that means to you)

Many of these areas can and often do bleed over into other areas of our lives; such as sex and intimacy, mental and leisure (reading a book), family and leisure, etc. But I have found that to truly honor each aspect, you have to know (be self aware) of the differences and your intention.

I know for myself, in days gone by, I had a hard time with balance because I loved my old career. Because I loved it so much, I had a difficult time separating it from play and leisure. Another problem I had; I measured my self worth by how much work I could actually get done. I also played as hard as I worked, so there was not much down time or leisure time. All of those components together multiplied, and it did take a toll on my physical and emotional health. I am lucky and blessed that nothing had a long term affect on my body, but it did take some time to get back to balance.

Your Existing Belief Systems May Be Playing A Part…
Often your existing belief systems about yourself and life in general will play a factor in whether or not you are able to easily balance a specific area. For example, I was taught that play time came after EVERYTHING was completed. I was taught that play time was a luxury and only came after a hard days work. Another example; you may have conflicting ideas about church, religion, or a higher power. Those conflicting ideas may keep you from communing in a way that works for you and the moment. There are many more examples of this type of thing, but again, like most things, it takes Awareness to change them. Old, existing belief systems do affect our lives and when they do, it does so without you being conscious of it, therefore, you have to watch and become conscious. That being said, I have found that to have a balanced life, we often have to look at our existing belief systems.

A Balancing Act
I have found that if you ask someone how balanced their life is, unless it is completely out of whack, most of the time they may be aware that it is slightly out of balance, but not aware of the extent. So, I came up with a series of questions about your existing belief systems around specific areas and more questions to answer in general. Once you have completed the questionnaire, you then fill out a graph using your answers. I have never had anyone do this without being amazed at the results. These questions about existing belief systems will make you take a look at a specific area of your life, and how they could effect you and your balancing act. Once we look at existing belief systems, then there is another series of questions such as: “Do you enjoy this area of your life? Do your intentions and actions coincide with each other? Does this area bring joy to your life? Do you let things get in the way of this aspect of your life?” Once they have completed the questionnaire, we take both sets of answers, put them together and from those answers, we complete a graph that will show them exactly how balanced their life actually is.

Awareness Is The Key!
Being aware of a present situation is fundamental to embracing change; after all, it often helps to know where you are, to know the best route to get you to where you want to go. Many times, you have to see something in black and white to actually get a clear picture of it. Once you have that clear picture, then you have to begin to practice Awareness around that specific area. You have to be able to see that the mind is going to want to function in the old way, and also another aspect of the mind wants to change. That being said, there is going to be a push and pull happening inside of you. Part of you will want to make the changes required, but yet the mind is going to also want to function in the status quo. You have to see that, and address it in each moment as it arises.

You Must Be Honest With Yourself
If you are taking the time to look at your life and also balancing your life, honesty is the key. The mind can often support you in kidding yourself; be aware of that. After all, if you are wondering if your life is out of balance, then most likely it is, or you would not be asking yourself that question. Therefore, honesty is a must and the first part of the solution.

Putting The Effort Forward
The next step is putting the effort towards balancing your life. I find it often supportive to begin to ask yourself what you want in relation to a specific area of your life, and once you have done that, then begin to set some intention addressing those things. Now, setting intention is only a small portion of the equation; you then have to begin to put some effort around making that happen. I often ask my clients, “Do your actions support your intentions?” Sometimes they do, but many times they do not. You cannot expect to grow corn by planting beans. You cannot grow a healthy flower bed and allow the weeds to take over. In playing the game of life, right mindfullness (being solution oriented) and putting the right effort forward are key factors that determine whether or not you achieve what you desire out of the game.

Sometimes You Have To Make Choices
Choices are part of the Game of Life. In many situations you have to diminish time spent with one thing to be able to do something else. Sometimes that is easier than other times. For example, if you realize that there is not enough time spent in the mental capacity and you spend a lot of leisure time just watching television; it is a no brainer. Turn off the TV, and find a book on a subject that you are interested in, and do that instead. Other times, it appears to be more difficult. First of all, if you are taking things seriously, it is going to make it much harder. Secondly, look at the big picture. For example, if work is taking time away from your family, look at the big picture and if you would later in life regret spending time with your family and children, again it is a no brainer. Balancing your life is not about stopping work completely, but about finding balance. In many situations, an hour here and there will make all the difference in the world.

Mark The Time Out On Your Appointment Book
Whether you are the type of person that keeps an appointment book or not is irrelevant. If you do not actually do it, or whether your mentally do it, set time aside to place some emphasis on the area that is lacking. Mentally or physically marking the time out will keep it on your mind and open on your calendar. I know for myself, I like to allot more time than needed for a task, and then at the end of the day, I have some extra time that is left over. I have also found that having my to-do list on my weekly appointment schedule allows a better flow of time for me.

Balance Is Relative
What is balance to one may not be balance to another, and what may be balance this week may not be balance next week. Sometimes you need more down time than other times. The best thing to do is stay conscious about the balance in your life, evaluate it often, and act accordingly. Another big help is to stay attuned to, pay attention to your body; pay attention to how you are feeling, pay attention to your energy level, and give attention to the relationship with self and others. As you pay attention to these things, they will often give you messages relating to the balance in your life.

I really hope this helps you look at, and analyze without judgment how balanced your life is. I also hope that if you life is out of balance that you take the time and effort to allow the balance to come back into your life. You will thank yourself for doing this and your life will show the benefit for doing so.

Many blessings and Namaste…

If you are interested in other related articles:
Your Belief Systems Govern How You Relate To Life
Letting Yourself Dream In Color
The Untamed Mind Is A Wild Horse

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