In The Pursuit Of Happiness

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Recently I attended a memorial service for a dear, old friend of mine. We became friends in 1986 and remained extremely close until 2001. Over those years, we often worked together and lived together as roommates. In 2001, life led me down another career and path, and we no longer saw each other on a daily basis. We would run into each other periodically though. I had some knowledge of a drug addiction that had reared its ugly head right after I moved away and it seems his addiction got the best of him. He remained deep in the addiction for 2 years until the problems he faced as a result of his addiction led him into a recovery program. He remained sober for over 8 years; however, sobriety was not enough. He committed suicide! This led me to think about people’s happiness, and the peace that people experience in their lifetime. As a matter of fact, when I researched “how to be happy?” I found that there were over 37,000,000 people searching that topic monthly. I knew right then and there that I was going to have to put my two cents worth in relating to that topic. It would be wonderful if at least half of those people searching for that answer would read this, and get something out of it, and it may change how they look at life, deal with life, and process life. You see, one of the things that my friend wrote in his final letter was about the pain that he continued to have inside of him, even though he had done everything conventional therapies had asked of him. I hope to shed some awareness and insight about happiness and peace in our lives, and hopefully, just maybe, someone like my friend can experience life with more grace and ease.

First of all, I think it helps to understand the difference between peace and happiness, and then secondly, to have some understanding of how the mind works and functions. After those two things are established then I will give you my commentary.

Happiness is a state of being that results from whether or not someone (the mind) is getting what they (the mind) want or not. You see, the mind is happy when it is getting what it wants (desires), or when it is not getting what it doesn’t want (desires). All feelings, which include fear, love, anger, sadness or happiness, are results of this ‘wanting’ that is constantly taking place in a person’s mind; there is no way around that. Those feelings are temporary and fleeting. Those feeling change constantly, not only in a person life, but on a daily, and minute by minute basis. Being happy comes, and it goes (just like every other feeling). Sometimes you (the mind) is happy, and sometimes it is not!

Peace is a state of being that supersedes the mind. Peace is a state of being that exists independent of whether the mind is happy or not. Haven’t you heard about the “peace that passes all understanding?” That means peace is not reliant on the part of you that understands, otherwise known as the mind. Peace is a state of being; a calmness that emerges from our true beingness. Peace is a state of being that we have access to, and is there at all times, if we choose to look beyond our minds, our viewpoints on life, and our labels and judgments. Peace is the serene state of being that comes from a communion with our own true nature; not a communion or engagement with the mind, and its antics. Peace is what we experience, if we choose to be open to it, independent of what the mind is going through at any given point.

First, I think it helps if someone knows that it is possible to experience this peace, and know that it is always there, if they choose to access it. Secondly, to know there are things that you can do/be that will allow you to experience that peace. I will spend some time on those things throughout this article. To make my point, it may appear that I am going off subject for just a minute, but I promise you, I will bring it back to point.

If you look up the benefits of meditation, you will see words such as peaceful, serene, calming, and healing. There are reasons why someone experiences those things during meditation. During meditation, you commune with yourself. During meditation, you watch the mind and learn how to not engage with what the mind is saying in that moment. During meditation, you drop resistance to whatever is happening; good or bad. During meditation, you look beyond the mind, and begin to experience yourself independently of the mind. All of this ‘doing’ and ‘non-doing’ during the meditation allows you to access what is always there; which happens to be PEACE!

I do want to interject something here that took place while I was writing this article. I had to stop writing, and spend the next 6 hours fixing a problem with my phone. I had updated all of my software two days before, but a glitch happened in the system during the update. That problem was fixed a few hours later. Then over the next 24 hours, I realized another glitch was taking place, so I stopped writing and called tech support. After being disconnected 4 times, I finally reached someone that was willing to walk me through each step, stay with me the whole time, and finally 6 hours later, the problem was resolved. Why am I telling this? Because it fits with the post. I was not happy during this situation and these problems, but I knew that the mind was the only part of me that was not happy; I (the mind) was feeling anger, for I (the mind) was getting something I (the mind) was not wanting. I also knew that there was something more than anger there; I knew there was peace to be had, all I had to do was access it. As I accessed this peace, even though it did not take away the anger, I was able to have peace to help me with this situation. Now the situation seems to be remedied, so let’s proceed with the article.

I am a meditator, so I can talk to you first hand about the benefits of meditation including being peaceful, serene, and calm. I was able to use the same techniques that I would use during meditation to help me through the situation I just experienced with the phone glitch and a 6 hour delay in my day. As an experienced meditator, I knew that I could watch or observe the mind while it was having those thoughts during the experience, and I did not have to participate with them. Yes, I was angry, but engaging in the anger was not going to help the situation. When I first became aware of the anger, I centered myself, and began to watch the mind, and the thoughts that the mind was having. I began to breath very consciously; deep and rhythmic. I chose to do this because the breath becomes more shallow as the anger is increasing. Once the breathing was deep and rhythmic, I knew there was something there besides anger. I knew inside of me was a ‘pool of peace,’ and I also knew that I could flow easier through the situation resting in this pool of peace. I was NOT denying the anger, but the anger was not going to help the situation. The situation was going to take some time to remedy, and I just had to ride the wave while it was happening. There was nothing I could do but accept it, and go with it. I had a choice; I could either wallow in the anger of the situation, or I could acknowledge the feelings of anger and also rest in the peace that was available to me, as I was going through what I was going through.

Obviously, with over 37 billion people searching for a clue to happiness, there is not enough happiness in the world. People want to be happy, and they are searching for ways to be happy. I also want to be happy, and I want you to be happy, but I want more for you than just happiness. I want you to experience the peace that is always there regardless of whether you are feeling happy or not. I want you to understand the mechanisms of happiness and continue to reach for as much happiness as possible, and I want you to be in and live in peace, each and every moment.

Happiness is fleeting, and peace is eternal. Happiness only happens when you are getting what you are wanting. Happiness is something that you feel viscerally inside the body when the mind is pleased. It comes and it goes. I want you to truly enjoy it while it is happening, but I also want you to know that it is temporary and mind-based. That being said, if you are searching for constant happiness, you will have a very busy life, constantly seeking out happiness. Yes, strive to be happy, but understand the dynamics of happiness. Understand what is happening inside the body and mind during happiness, and any other feeling for that matter. Strive for happiness, continue to reach for happiness, but also realize that PEACE is always there, when you are happy or sad or angry. Begin to realize that you do not have to do anything to achieve this peace, it is always available, you just have to access it.

Now, here comes the ‘spiritual part.’ I really can’t tell you why we have this peace, all I can tell you is we have it. Maybe it is a gift from God, a gift from Existence, as Existence shares itself with us. Maybe it is one of the ways ‘life supports life.’ Maybe it’s just the gentle nature of God. Who knows. All I know is that peace is always there, available to us whenever we choose to live in it. Every religion, every spiritual practice talks about it, and this is my way of reminding you of a fact. Peace resides in each of us, it is beyond the human aspects; however it is the human that is allowed to experience it. So open yourself up to living in peace. Continue to reach for happiness, but don’t let the desire consume you and be miserable because there is not enough happiness in your life. Begin to realize that the happiness is based upon the mind and consistency is not a natural state of the mind; therefore, there is not natural to be consistently happy at all times. The mind is naturally going to be all over the place; the mind looks for happiness, and the mind looks for other things besides happiness as well. That is what the mind does. The mind labels things as good and/or bad. If you are consumed with the search of happiness, you are doing nothing more than chasing your tail. Round and round you go. I do not believe this is the most productive way to live. I believe that living in peace makes the happy times even sweeter, and the ‘not so happy times’ to go much smoother, easier and gentler.

I say all of this because I want people to have awareness around all of their feelings, I want people to realize there is more to life than the pursuit of happiness, and I believe that if more people knew about this ‘pool of peace’ that resides in them, there would be fewer people having a miserable life and/or take their life because of the nagging emptiness they have inside. I cannot bring my friend back to life, but I can offer support to those of you that are experiencing this. I can offer you the knowingness that there is more to life than the pursuit of happiness. I can tell you about the support that the Universe offers each and every one of us, if we would just be open to it. I can share with you the knowledge that peace supersedes the feeling of happiness any day, you just have to move beyond the mind to experience it.

As long as I can remember, my friend consistently took life too seriously. Yes, he could laugh and play well. He could joke with the best of them. He would appear to be jovial, and light hearted, but I always knew that underneath all of that, he took life too seriously. He was consumed with being the best. He was consumed with covering up what he thought were his inadequacies. He was often more consumed with making sure the outside looked good enough that it would make up for what he thought he lacked on the inside. He took life too seriously! I also believe that if he would have known about the peace that I am talking about, he possibly would be alive today. Can you see my point?

So, as I close this article on how to be happy, I want you to know there is more to life than being happy. Yes, continue to reach for happiness, for I believe that is part of our human evolution, to choose to be happy in life. But choosing/being happy is only a part of our human evolution; it is also realizing that there is more. Go within, meditate, observe the mind and its antics, and know that peace is something that the Universe gives us to help us move through life; for LIFE ALWAYS SUPPORTS LIFE!!!!

I pray that you begin to have peace in your life.

Many blessings and Namaste…
Related Posts:
1) Loving Yourself
2) Its All A Choice
3) Peace That Passes All Understanding
4) The Journey Between Peace And Happiness

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