Minister Fired For Questioning Hell

I spent four hours Friday driving to and from Atlanta, and the mind was focused predominantly on one subject during that time. The evening before, I was directed toward a story about a minister in rural North Carolina who had been fired from his church because he had started to question the existence of hell, and did so publicly. It stirred so many thoughts and emotions for me and there are so many different aspects I would like to address. So, guess what? You get to hear all about them until this energy in me has moved through. So, let’s see where this goes.

God, Source, Source Energy, All That IS, Father, Mother, Mystery of Life, the Existence that I have experienced and come to know is simply LOVE! There is nothing but LOVE. This Love does not judge, does not require, does not need, nor does this Love Energy condemn. This is the God that I know. I am not going to judge anyone for choosing that type of God, but I sure would like to spread the message about the God that I know. I am not trying to change anyone’s mind about their concept of God, for if it is working for them, GREAT. However, if someone who is questioning God and their relationship with God reads this; my prayer is that this brings them closer to knowing and experiencing a loving God.

I know nothing of the back story of this man that was fired from his church, but I do know plenty of background about another story that is larger than and encompasses this man’s story. I was raised with it, I was taught it, and I questioned it from the beginning. I was told a story about a God that had created me; he had created me in his own image; however, somehow I came out a sinner. The story continues with God recognizing that I was a sinner and sending down his ONLY son to redeem me. I had to be washed in the blood of this crucified Christ, I had to repent, I had to be redeemed, become saved, and then I could reunite with my creator. If I did not do these things, I was going to burn in ever-lasting fire.

This story never sat right with me, but what did sit right with me was the feeling that I got as a child in worship. I LOVED church. As a matter of fact, the very first crush I remember having as a little boy was a beautiful man, with long, flowing hair. It was the stain-glass picture of Jesus, at the front of our church. I loved Jesus. I loved worship, and I loved God; even while being told this story.

Thank God, the love for God continued even through this story. I don’t know why; I can’t explain it, it just did!

Thank God, the things that I was taught about God did not match what I felt from God. The story kept getting deeper and making less sense the more I learned. Eventually, it made absolutely no sense, so I threw the baby out with the bath water. God and I broke up!

Life kept going, but everything kept pointing me back to God. My heart was broken that I couldn’t love what I loved. I just could not reconcile loving this abusive God that I had been taught about. I had to search to find the God that I felt inside, the God that I loved so deeply.

Even now, remembering those days of sorrow as I searched for a loving God, my heart is beating fast, and the tears are streaming down my face.

It makes me so sad that this story about God has been created, maintained and sustained throughout man’s history; all for power, control, and greed. This story has kept many people from being in and with God’s love. This story has also kept people from experiencing God’s love because they are so focused on making sure that all the I’s are dotted and all the T’s are crossed, according to their religion’s doctrines. I think about all the other gay men and women (or other groups of individuals that have been caste out) that also threw the baby out with the bath water, because they were told they were going to hell, simply because of who they are. My desire is to share with you, and them, the God that I have evolved to know.

I found a God that likes me questioning his or her existence. I found a God that likes me questioning my old religious rhetoric. I found a God that enjoys me asking questions about heaven and hell (and everything that it entails). I found a God that loves without condition. I found a God that is willing to share with me, as long as I keep asking, and boy, did I ask. I gave up asking through another man (I gave up asking the so-called ‘men of God’), I went straight to the source, and this is what I found.

There are two types of love; one being human, mind-made love and the other is a love that transcends duality, it is absolute. With this love, there are no restrictions, there are no limitations, and there are no judgments, no need to forgive, and that which came from love, returns to love. This is God and God’s love.

I was shown that heaven and hell was just another concept of duality; for if there was a heaven, there had to be a hell. If there was redemption, there had to be punishment. I was shown that these concepts were built to control people, to take people’s money, essentially to have power over people. Since this life is a game of ‘free-will and free-choice’, those things existed. I was shown that God’s love is there, free for the taking, even through all of that bullshit. I was shown that God is big enough to handle your questioning without being threatened by it. I was shown that God understands the questioning and is more than willing to answer any question asked.

I learned that these ideas about God went completely against every belief system I ever had in place, and it seemed like I would go absolutely mad sometimes, mad at them for telling us that bullshit and mad with love, all at the same time.

I learned that Jesus was an incredible teacher, man, and a walking, talking illumination of God manifested. I learned that Jesus will walk with you in this lifetime to support you as you walk this Earth, this game-board called life. I learned that Jesus will be your friend; just ask him. I also learned that there have been a few men and women who have walked in Jesus’s shoes before and after his life on Earth.

 I learned about Natural Laws of the Universe and how the game of life was created through us and with God, to be able to experience all aspects of life. I learned that within these Natural Laws, there is a system of cause and effect that takes care of the so called ‘reward and punishment’ during the game. I learned that God supports us and never leaves us, no matter what is happening.

I learned that the mind would often impede the relationship between me and God. I learned that was part of the game as well. I learned that no matter what you did during the time of playing the game, you were always reunited with God after your time on the game board ended. There was no judgment, possible condemnation or punishment for your actions during the game, for it was just a game.

My relationship with God grew closer and better than ever. Keeping my eyes and ears open, I found others who had similar types of realizations about God, and experiences with God. More importantly, my relationship with God grew so strong, so steadfast, that it did not matter what other people thought of me or my relationship with God.

All I can say now is “Good for you and many blessings to you, Chad Holtz.” Reverend Holtz was the man that was fired from his congregation for questioning the existence of hell. Rev. Holtz, I am sorry that the religion you have taken so much time with has turned against you. I am sorry that the ears that heard your questioning thought their religion could not stand up against these questions. I am sorry that those who judge you have only a relationship with religion rather than with God. If Chad Holtz were standing in this room with me, I would hug him tight and reassure him that he was on the right track. I would tell him to keep an open heart and that God will enlighten him as well and shine light on his new path and journey. Reverend Chad Holtz, if these words find you, I hope that it reassures you, brings you peace and supports you on your new path. I love you and we are One. If I do not get to meet you while spending time on this planet, I will see you in Heaven.

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