Loving Yourself

I have spent this week talking about relationships, predominantly love relationships, however anything that I have shared is applicable to any relationship. So as I close out this week, I want to discuss the ultimate relationship, and that is the “Relationship with Self.” You see, your outside relationships reflect the inner relationship that you have with yourself!
Then comes the question of which self I am talking about, the authentic Self or the conditioned, mind-based, egoic self? And again, the answer still remains the same; your outside relationships are going to reflect your inner relationships….with your “egoic self” and your “authentic self.” Let’s break this down…
The conditioned self is the self that has been created by the outside world. It has been shaped by first your parents, then family, then teachers, etc., etc. This self is the ego. It is the self that comes from the mind and the mind’s interpretations and judgments of what has occurred during a person’s life. This self is dualistic in nature. It is illogical and based in all kinds of power and control games. It stays focused on the past and some projected future, and rarely, truly experiences the beauty of the Now. That being said, your relationships are going to imitate the model of relationships that you grew up with. It is going to be dualistic; seesawing between different levels of good and bad. There are going to be all different types of power and control games going on dependent upon what’s happening at any given point, the moods and whims of either parties involved.
The Authentic Self is the Self that is the core self. It is the Self that is free of labels, non-judging, and lives in Oneness with the moment. It is always there, but very few people take the time or effort to get beyond the mind and begin to have a relationship with this Self. Because this Self lives in Oneness, its relationship reflects this Oneness. The Self goes with the flow, but also uses the mind to play the game of illusions. The Self knows that it is a game and doesn’t take anything seriously; therefore there are no power and control games (and if one shows up, this Self realizes it chooses in the moment to play along or not).
Life is not meant to be a struggle, and certainly relationships are not meant to be either. Relationships are meant to be a union of Souls, a communion between two people that work cohesively as one. Relationships are meant for sharing. Relationships are meant to support balance and strength. Relationships are meant for support and a play partner. The relationship with the Authentic Self is no different. The Authentic Self supports the human self, it shares in the life experiences, and it is a constant support and play partner.
This type of relationship with Self is more than possible. There is nothing mystical or magical about having it. It is all about the desire to move beyond and then live beyond the mind. It is about having enough Self Awareness that you know how to use the mind and at the same time not take anything that the mind says seriously.
Guys, it is a beautiful thing to have this type of relationship with Self, and it is EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL to have this type of relationship mirror itself in outside relationships. I hopes this helps!
If you are interested in hearing more about this, go to our “Podcasts” page; there you will see an audio discourse entitled, “The Most Important Relationship.”
Much love and much peace to you.

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