The Appearance of Inability

Laurie wrote:

When you are physically and mentally unable to deal with issues regarding work, play, etc.; how do you get through physical pain to get things done to move forward? As in physically move, get a job, divorce, and a son leaving to be on his own. I do not want to lean on anyone and I know I have the answers, but keep losing focus.

Vedam:

There are so many things that could play into this situation that you did not explain in your question. (for example: the physical and mental things that are keeping you from dealing with work issues, etc.) But, I will do my best to answer your question with the information that you gave.

Let’s start with the inability to deal with these issues. Mental and physical inability can be closely tied to a refusal on your part to deal with these issues. The refusal could be a habit, or come from being overwhelmed because of engagement in what the mind is saying, etc. Yes, I am very familiar with being overwhelmed with too many things happening at one time. However, I also know that the Universe never gives us more than we can handle. The mind may be overwhelmed, but since you are not the mind, you can observe the mind in its overwhelmed state and take one thing at a time. Focus on the task at hand until that task is complete, and then move onto the next task. If it is truly a physical situation, ask someone for help and assistance. Since life supports life, there will be someone that will be willing to help. Also, with the physical issues, many times it occurs because of the cycle between the mind and the body. If the mind is in refusal to deal (and you are participating with refusal of the mind), it can create a physical situation to keep you from physically dealing.

Back in the days when I was paralyzed, the physical limitations were intense, but the determination to override the limitations was greater. I had to focus, I had to push myself and I had to honor myself and the body at any given point. Some days I was stronger than others. On those days, I really pushed. On the weaker days, I could only do what I could do, and I had to accept that, knowing that more days of strength would come. I also did my best to remain in gratitude for all of it. Life is about the ebb and flow.

Your desire to not lean on someone is tricky. Sometimes, it is about determination and other times it is to support the refusal to deal with the situation at hand. I would urge you to reach out and ask for help. We are not an island, and asking for help is the best thing we can do for ourselves and the situation.

Big changes and lots of changes at one time can often be taxing. But resisting the change(s) is ridiculous. Change is inevitable and we have to adjust because it is the nature of the world. Refusal to accept the change is a formula for disaster. I would recommend constantly living in a state of acceptance. When you are recognizing that you are not accepting, accept the un-acceptance and also mentally begin to accept the things that are considered to be unacceptable. It is only the mind that is not accepting and you have to begin to realize that; the mind is not YOU!

As far as the non-focus goes; each and every one of us can train the mind to focus. When you recognize that you are not focused, rather than engaging in that, choose to focus. Rein in the mind, and harness it. It takes practice and consistent practice. It is not something that you do one time and it fix years of habit. Focusing can be a new habit, if you only put your determination to it.

I hope this helps.

Much peace, much love, much life and much laughter,

Vedam

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